May 18-22, 2007

May 18, 2007

About the Eleventh Teaching, I wanted to say yesterday that Arjuna's wonderment turns to quaking and trembling when he sees Krishna as the Destroyer. All the people he's been fighting are "rushing through your fangs into grim mouths, some are dangling crushed from your teeth" oops – I paraphrased verse 27 and cut out the most horrible – they are dangling from heads crushed by his teeth. And panning out, it isn't just local heroes but whole worlds rushing in:

You lick at the worlds

Around you

Devouring them

With flaming mouths;

And your terrible fires

Scorch the entire universe,

Filling it, Vishnu

With violet rays. v. 30

Tell me,

Who are you

In this terrible form?

Homage to you, Best of Gods!

Be gracious! I want to know you

As you are in your beginning.

I do not comprehend

The course of your ways. v. 31

I can't help but think of physics – that Arjuna is seeing the incredible processes of stars dying and worlds disappearing into black holes. I guess that's as close as my imagination can come. And how could you feel anything but the awe and fear – terror – at what your mild-mannered friend had become? Who are you? It's interesting that he calls him Vishnu here. Krishna traditionally being thought of as an avatar of Vishnu, his incarnation. But the text seems to keep reminding us not to get hung up on names. Then finally here, Arjuna expresses the feeling I have – I guess we all have – I don't get it! Why are you this way? Why are you so cruel and terrible? Why can't it just be creation, with no destruction? Krishna's answer, which I know I've copied out elsewhere, is:

I am time grown old,

Creating world destruction.

Set in motion

To annihilate the worlds;

Even without you,

All these warriors

Arrayed in hostile ranks

Will cease to exist v.32

So it is an answer to the early question, Arjuna's main crisis; we can do what we have to do, knowing we will hurt the planet, because it is already dead, or slated for destruction. Which doesn't mean, as some assholes seem to think, that it's a green light to destroy whatever you want. At least, I don't think it is. But wait, are not those assholes perhaps Krishna's instruments? Doing the destructive work that needs to be done? I don't know. I'm confused again, where yesterday this brought clarity.

I suppose it is like Yahweh, whose followers believe he can and does use the actions of even evil men, turning them to his own purpose. And I don't have the assignment to go out and destroy. Maybe others do, but it isn't any of my business. Maybe I can take comfort in the idea that my enemies are already killed by Krishna.

I don't know. But Arjuna responds with beautiful, total adoration. Maybe what I need to do is just spend some time meditating on the largeness, the incomprehensibile scale of God, and it will remind me that I don't know what's going on. That whole galaxies in our own universe are born and disappear. Why should I think this one star and its one blue planet will exist forever? Why be so attached to this one planet when there is an entire universe out there? Maybe unlimited universes and here is the Lord and Creator of all of that, and I can find that Lord right here in my own heart/mind/body/self.

Yes, the teaching ends when Krishna, back in his human form, says gods and people try tricks and magic to see what Arjuna has seen, when all one has to do is devote themsleves to that Lord. Only through devotion to Him.

By devotion alone

Can I, as I really am,

Be known and seen

And entered into, Arjuna.

Acting only for me, intent on me,

Free from attachment,

Hostile to no creature, Arjuna,

A woman of devotion comes to me. v. 55

Devotion alone. Okay.

May 19

The Twelfth Teaching: Devotion

I feel ready to hear about devotion. Arjuna asks which is better, to worship brahman in its unmanifest form, or manifest as Krishna. Krishna says either will bring us to him, but it is harder for those of us in bodies to come the unmanifest way. He gives directions for how to be devoted. I've read and will keep reading them, over and over, until they are written on my heart. But for now I will attend my cherished family.

May 22

I have been reading the twelfth teaching on devotion. I am moved by much of it.

When they entrust reason to me,

Arjuna, I soon arise

To rescue them from the ocean

Of death and rebirth. v. 7

This reassures me – seemed at first an answer spoken just for me as I often become entangled in my own logic, pulled under by the fact that I can't figure out the mind of God. Krishna, ever compassionate says, "Entrust reason to me."

Focus your mind on me,

Let your understanding enter me;

Then you will dwell

In me without doubt.

Right now I hear this as saying "you don't have to figure the whole world out. You don't need to understand everything right this moment." Just focus on God. And as he said before, "This being known, nothing else need be known." That was in 7:2

And here, Krishna's directions are so compassionate, so understanding of our weaknesses that he says okay, if you are unable to do what is best (concentrate fully on him), then "try to reach me through discipline in practice" v.9. If you can't manage that, then perform all your actions for my sake, v.10. If you are unable to do even that, then at least don't take credit for what I do for you. Rely on my discipline, and "reject all fruits of action" v.11.

Verses 13-19 are comprable to Paul's descripton of Christian love in 1 Corinthians 13. A description of what we all should be. Loving and compassionate, yes, but also disciplined, self-controlled, relinquishing all attachments. Those that can do these things, Krishna says, are dear to him. And of course I want to be dear to him. While I've not been able to establish a regular meditation routine, I can still try to practice discipline in other areas, as well as compassion and detachment every day.